Anniversary of Dad’s Passing
This marks the second anniversary of dads passing. They tell you that the first year is really hard, but let me be the one to tell you that is sort of true but really the second year is harder. The first year is the first year of he’s not here and you are numb to that fact. At the start of the first year you can look back at the year before and talk about how much he was apart of your life and what y’all did that year right before he left. You have all those memories from times past where your loved one is with you and participating in life. The second year though, it brings in the sadness in an entirely new way.
The second year is the first year you can’t recall your loved one being there with you the last year. It is a time when you realize just how much life has changed and how much you have missed having them is apart of the daily routines. Since dad’s passing is so close to Christmas the first was the one where we were able to say he was with us last year, but now on the second anniversary we can no longer say that. In fact now, we have memories of a Christmas past that do not include him. This is what no one tells you about the loss of a loved one. This is the part that you don’t seeing coming, this is where your grief really comes out.
Grief is a funny thing, it is there one minute and then the next it is gone and you can find yourself laughing about a great memory. Grief is a strange bedfellow to have in your life, and it is one that I wish no one had to experience but sadly we do. Sadly we have to have these moments in our lives because we are human and that is the cycle of life. I have always hated when someone says that very thing, part of me wants to scream how unfair that is and how no one should have to die and leave behind those that love him or her. The other part of me knows that what lies beyond death is so wonderful and magical that I want everyone to be there and be there quickly. Heaven is that place where we will all be made whole again, there will be no more tears, no more pains, and everyone is the best version of themselves.
As I reflect on these past two years I am more ready than before for what lies beyond, I am ready to see everyone that has gone on ahead of me. I know that I have more life to live here on earth, but I am so ready to see my heavenly Father along with my precious daddy. Until that time though, I am going to live my best life and make my dad proud of me. I am going to make sure that I live up to his name and his legacy. I will let others know all about him and his wonderful spirit. His name will live on through me.
I know that he is looking down on me and guiding me through this thing called life because I continue to see glimpses of him in the people he touched, in songs I hear on the radio, television shows he loved, and movies I know he would have loved seeing with me. I feel him with me when I am writing; it was something that he loved to do as well. I see him in the glitter that randomly shows up for no reason, the sparkles that float down from the sky, and anything shiny that catches my eyes. So as the second year anniversary is here I am thankful for the years that I had with him and I miss him more today than yesterday but I am relived in the thought that I will be with him and it will seem as if no time had passed at all. So as I face this second year of his passing, I know that he is there for me still and he is guiding me through this thing we call life.