Nature vs. Nurture

            As someone who is adopted I’ve always wondered about the idea of nature versus nurture. I have studied it in regards to how it affects people and I have read study after study that contradict one another, I have not found exclusive evidence that either one is stronger than the other up to this point. Now, I am sure you have your opinion on which you think is more likely to affect people. I tend to lean to more toward it is a pure mix of both nature versus nurture and one is going to be stronger but that is varies from person to person. No one is the same so I don’t think we can quantify that every person has one or the other more prevalent in them. Just like our entire DNA is different I think that our nature and/or nurture is just as varied.

            Having met my birth mother, I can say that I see a lot of her in me but I also have a lot of my mom in me as well. So I think I am pretty good mix of both nature and nurture. There are times though that I think one might stronger than the other but that can vary day to day and even minute to minute. Talking with others who are adopted and have met their biological parents, I have heard a good mix of nature versus nurture from them as well. They have said what I feel that it varies day to day, and at any given time they can see both sets of parents within themselves. Now I have not met my birth father, but I have stalked some of his family online and I do see a resemblance to in how I am shaped body wise, the color of my hair and eyes. Those are the superficial things that I think fall into nurture. Of course my parents have said that I favor my dad’s mom’s family a little bit as well, so there’s that. My brother definitely favored my Poppa (mom’s dad) in looks and mannerisms. But after meeting his birth mother and her family, he looks like them too. This is why I say every day one or the other is going to show up. 

            I think there are things that innately ingrained in us from birth, and there are things that we are taught throughout our lives from our families. I am not sure what all is truly ingrained within us and if we can actually say but I do know that there are cases where someone was adopted and went on commit the exact crimes of their biological parent.  Having had no prior knowledge of their biological parents, but somehow still knowing or having those same urges to commit crimes in just the same manner. I feel like that would have to be a form of nature. I am not excusing the crimes or the criminals in this; I just find it interesting that not matter how their adoptive families they still raised them turned out to be criminals. Then we see people who have the same biological situation, but turn out to not have any tendencies toward crime; in fact they went the total opposite of the route. 

            Since I have been so ill lately, I am sleeping well so to pass the time I watch YouTube videos. Well I stumbled upon this series about Romanian Gypsies and Witches. I love to learn more the Gypsy culture, see I did the DNA testing to find out what ethnicities I was made up of before I met my biological mother. It turned out that I actually do have some Romanian and Irish Gypsy blood in me. This was great news to me because I have always been a Gypsy at heart and I tend to be called a gypsy on most occasions. So during the viewing of these videos I was really connecting to what I was seeing. I have never spoken a word of the Romanian language, but I was understand a good portion of what was going on (luckily there y 

            There was one episode where there was to be an arranged marriage. Let me just say, I feel in love with all the clothing! It was like looking into my soul when they started to put on all the jewelry and glitter. I was in love with the makeup looks they were doing (great smoky eyes), they clothing they chose, and everything leading up to the wedding. I spotted some of my own jewelry in the episode as well; I loved seeing that I had the exact same pieces in my closet. I actually am shaped a good bit like several of the women that were featured on the videos. I enjoyed seeing apple shaped women live their lives to the fullest and be proud of whom they were and how they were shaped. There was a television show about Gypsies here in the United States that I used to love because on every episode they word the same type of jewelry I do! So now, is this nurture or nature? To me it has to be nature because my mom does not care anything about jewelry like I do, she doesn’t like all the glitter, all the black and as she states all the “tacky” that I love. My birth mother likes the glitter, the jewelry and all as well. It is so strange to me that, that is the part of nature that stayed with me from my birth but it is. I am thankful that I have learned where my love of all the things that my mom and I fought about when I was little actually came from my nature. I like having people who resemble me, who love the glitter and shimmer like I do. 

            I say all this because I find it so fascinating to think about what parts of us comes from nature and those that come from nurture. You can see it in people who aren’t adopted as well; they resemble more of one parent in looks, but might have things that exactly like the other parent. So even though they look like one, they are much more like the other. So again nature and nurture are coming into play making them who they are. I am going to read some more on the subject and see what else I can tell is nature versus my nurturing and upbringing. Let me know what you think, what shows up more in your life day to day, it is more nature or more nurture?