Crystals

            So having all these autoimmune diseases makes one really start to look at life and what can be done and changed. There is a lot of questions every time I see a doctor and I am not talking about the usual health questions, I am talking questions about life and how I ended up here in this exact situation and position. I have questioned my entire life and wondered what I did bad or wrong to be dealt this lot in life. Now I know that God is not punishing me and that I am not here because I did something bad or did something to cause all of these diseases. I honestly deep down know that former statement is true but that doesn’t stop the human in me coming out and still questioning. In being human, I still question and wonder and ponder, and eventually come to the realization that it is not my fault but it still is not a wonderful thing I have to live with. That is the main point right there, I have to live with all of this, I have to deal with each individual disease on their own then I deal with them together and how they affect each part of my body and mind. 

            In dealing with each of the diseases I have to figure out their origin, how they are going to alter my makeup mentally, physically, emotionally, and yes spiritually. You may not think that autoimmune diseases can influence your spiritual life but let me tell you that they do. These diseases cause you to question everything in your life and in my life my spirituality plays a big part. I never thought that I would be looking into “alternate” spiritual places and things. Let me say by alternate I am only referring to things that I was never really taught in Sunday School; these are things that others might not think to look into. I am looking into all things, all the places, and trying to make sense out of what is happening within me. I don’t want you to think I am abandoning my spiritual walk or my relationship with God, I am just enhancing that journey and trying to find answers for what ails me. I am searching for an answer that I may not ever find on this earth and I have to be okay with that fact. If I am able to find answers and find healing then I am will share it with everyone I find that needs to hear. That is one thing that I know for sure, one of my spiritual gifts is teaching. Teaching is something that I love and I am happy to share what I find. I am planning on taking you on this journey with me and sharing what I find and discover. 

            Part of having autoimmune diseases is people everywhere want to give you answers as to why you got them, how you got them, and what to do with them. It is a joke among those of us with these diseases that if you say “autoimmune disease” three times in a mirror someone will appear behind you and tell you do yoga and eat kale. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all the help and advice but after so many times it can get old to be told what to do all the time. I think that is what it comes down to; I hate being told what to do so instead I will just buck the idea right off the bat. I need to work on that trait in myself and get better about taking advice. I think as I grow in this journey I will get better at that very thing. I am sure you are wondering after so many years, why now, why start a new health tour and why find answers now. Here is the thing; it has taken me this long to feel as if I have been diagnosed with everything I am going to be pronounced with from the medical field. I know that it might seem like a long time from my official, original examinations to get to this point. Well it appeared that every month I was having new symptoms to new syndromes and wasn’t sure if I was going to get diagnosed with anything new. I felt like I needed a cooling period where I gathered as much information as I could on each of the sicknesses that I was dealing with. 

            In addition to teaching I have always been a reader. Well here lately that isn’t the case so much but when I do read, it is medically related in some sense. I am searching for answers, needing to gain clarity, and just wanting to figure out each of my diseases. There is only so much that my doctors can tell me, they do specialize in each of my syndromes but they don’t specialize in others so I have to put all the pieces together myself and report back to the doctors. Please hear this, I am not faulting doctors at all! I respect all my doctors and would not be here without them. The medical profession is the issue because I don’t think they give the doctors enough information to learn about a disease quickly and they don’t honestly have the time to be researching all of the different ailments their patients may come in for. I have tried to educate my doctors on each of the maladies that I deal with each day and especially those that are a more rare form of a disorder. In all of my reading I am finding more and more ideas along the holistic side of things.  I am beginning to think that there is something to be said about going more holistic. 

            In vain of going more holistic I am looking into oils, crystals, acupuncture, beads, and anything in that arena. I am gazing into a new future, coming at my illnesses with care, compassion, and vigor. I am going to be researching, reading, learning, and eventually teaching others about what I have learned. I hope you will continue on this journey with me and give me grace as I forge forward into this new landscape of my life. If you were experienced in any holistic side of health, I’d love to hear and know about your background and what you’ve learned. Please reach out to me and fill me in on all the things!