New Diagnose and Doctors Call

So, there are days when you’re happy to talk to your doctor but then are days like the one I had day before yesterday. I t was a conversation that lasted over an hour, you know that never bodes well but you take it on the chin and suck it up to hear what needs to be said. I have always been very open about my health issues and what I go through so I though this should be no different. I feel like if I can help at least one person then my work here on earth has meant somethings.

The call came to discuss m\y latest MRI results. I was hoping it was going to be a very quick conversation saying that nothing had changed and all was well. That sadly wasn’t the case, hence the hour-long conversation. So, I have several places on my neck and spine that the spinal fluid has decreased and caused some issues. I now have bone spurs and bulging discs and pockets that have formed outside my spine. Surgery is the only fix but my doctor and I have opted out of that method because I have made a choice to simply live with the pain, I am in all the time. I have never had a full prescription for opioids or narcotics to relieve the pain, so that would be the first line of defense and I have opted out of that as well because those come with their own issues (if you won’t we can get into that another time) I am choosing to simply live with the pain that I experience every day. It did surprise my doctor and he praised me for being a badass (not his words but ya know-dramatic affect) and did say he admired me resilience and wished more people were willing to learn to live with the pain so they don’t have to go down the surgery rabbit hole. 

Then came the discussion about the brain. This I could tell wasn’t going to be good news but I wasn’t quite prepared for what was coming. I am not sure why I feel like I need to always say this but I am not telling you for sympathy I am just simply telling you in case someone can benefit from it. So, there is a new large hole in my left frontal lobe area and most of my brain is now gray matter instead of while. The thing with a hole is that there is no fixing it and there is nothing that can be done about it, you just have to live with it. So that is what I am going to do. I am going to live with it and deal with the best wayh I know how. The left frontal temporal lobe Controls right side of body, Processes and produces language, Regulated focus and concentration. Controls Emotions: pride, anger, happiness. It focuses on Memory- the working memory, and recall of current events. It controls the Decision-making dealing with problem solving, and judgement. It exacerbates Changes in behavior, Changes in personality, and Behavioral problems. Dementia-early onset, is often found with this type of trauma. Disinhibition, Impulsivity, and Movement memory-how to walk, write, etc. are all controlled by this area. Deletes self-monitoring behavior and can lead to mania, OCD, bipolar, depression, severe hallucinations and very illogical reasoning. 

         With that exciting news, it does actually make sense with some of the things I have been experiencing and even though the news isn’t great, it does give me hope because I now have answers as to what is going on with me. Again, I am sharing all this so that maybe one person can identify and get some answers too. Y’all know I never want anyone to feel sorry for me or anything but I do want you to realize that I might have some personality shifts, some things might be different with me and from me but I am still me and I am still fighting every day to bring awareness and I am fighting for those who need help and need answers but can’t figure out where to start. As always, I am here for anything you or your loved one needs, please feel free to reach out to me anytime and I will do my best. So, here’s to a new way of life and all the adventures it is going to bring with it.