Difficulties with Death

         So, I find myself at the crossroads of yet another death in my life. My last living grandparent passed away this week. My granddad passed away on my Poppa’s birthday, it was kind of a surreal moment in time that they are were once again linked. See both sets of my grandparents lived in the same sleepy town my entire growing up life, and I was able to go between their two houses as much or as little as I wanted. In fact, they lived about 7 minutes apart give or take. It made the holidays special because I got to see both sets of my grandparents and show off what Santa brought me; I have some of my best memories from those days. 

         I’ll be honest I was much closer to my mom’s parents growing up than my dad’s parents but no matter I loved both sets and I knew I was lucky to be able to spend time with them all. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I really got to know my dad’s parents’ stories from their youth, stories from how they grew up, and stories from my dad’s childhood. See my dad’s mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and she needed some extra care in the beginning. So, dad, mom, and I stepped in and began going to their house a few times a week to help out. One of the interesting things about her having Alzheimer’s were the stories she would tell. I learned a lot from her and granddad as they shared her memories.

         Grand mom had to eventually be placed in a nursing home and left granddad by himself at the house. It was decided that granddad would move to Auburn to be near my uncle. It was sad to see him move but it was the best thing for him. He really enjoyed his time at the assisted living place home and he would always tell us about his friends he made there. It was good to see him enjoying life and spending time with people he had things in common with. He was sad to be away from Grand mom but he came to visit and that satisfied them both. 

         After daddy passed I had more of need to see Granddaddy. Dad definitely favored grandaddy and I was able to see how dad would have aged if he were still around. They had different personalities, but they looked so much alike you could tell that they were father and son. It was always hard to leave granddaddy when we visited him because of that fact and the fact that we were away from him now when we used to live closer. My last visit with him, he hugged me and told me that he was proud of me and that dad would have been so proud to see me too. It pains to me know that it was the last time I would see him because Covid hit and I was homebound and they weren’t letting people into the assisted living home. Sadly, his health started to decline and he was moved to a hospice house. My heart is broken because I wasn’t able to see him, and he was my last connection to see daddy. See when I looked into his face, I saw daddy, I saw my family, and I saw my last grandparent. I know that when he passed, he was greeted in heaven by daddy, grand mom, and all his family that passed before him. I know that he is whole, well, and happy but I miss him. I know I will see them all again but man I miss them something fierce and life isn’t going to be the same without him here. I am thankful for the years I did have with him especially these last few years when I feel like I got to know him just a little bit better, he’s going to be missed by all those that knew him. So, until we meet again, he’s always in my heart.